Saturday, 27 July 2013

The 5 stages, depression and chronic pain

Thinking again about the 5 stages of grief (Elisabeth Kübler-Rossand how people like myself, with depression and chronic pain feel all 5 of these stages most every day...

Denial - Why is  this happening to me, why do I deserve this?? We refuse to accept the logical progression and logical outcome.
I think I feel Denial (often) every single day! I was a hard worker with a humongous love/hate relationship with introduced pest plants in Australia and spent a lot of my spare time clearing local bushland.  Now, I look out onto my wonderful Aussie bushland and think "sheeesh, why can't I just go over the fence and clear those vines. 

Anger - the Why me? How is this fair?
For me this goes hand in hand with the Depression, I think Why do I have to take pain pills to want to do what I used to do before the onset of these "O's" in my life.. Why can't I just do what I used to do -Why me - Why - Why - Why and then I tend to get withdrawn and sullen and not pleasant to be around for my poor family:(

Bargaining - I'd do anything to make myself better again! I'd give everything I own!
I don't tend to Bargain I think - I think I've resigned myself to never being who I was without more help to research cures!

Depression - becoming silent, sad about the inevitable life before you!
Touched on this in Anger - but for me the Depression is heightened by more than just a want to go bush - having to think about little everyday tasks like vacuuming (and having pain for a day or two after), cleaning the raked ceiling is Scary for me due to not being able to move my neck without a headache or migraine for days.. Like many of us - we don't get to see the sky like most people:(

Acceptance - for me are the days that I totally understand I cannot do "exactly" what I want to do without accepting the painful consequences.
Doing exactly this just now - the urge to go bush the last few days has been very very strong but I know I just cannot afford to right now without having to spend some more time in bed zonked.  Even more annoying is it's right there every time I walk out my doors. 
I know I'll end up over there at some stage soon but am right proper upset that I just cannot stroll over today. This wasn't meant to be a huge vent but became one so I apologise to those that cannot empathise:)

Sunday, 9 June 2013

Musings ~ Online friendships

I set this up with a view to daily muses but sadly life has been kind of a mess since my forced retirement?

I always thought that retirement would lend to being able to get everything I've had on my mind for years finally done ie all the hundreds of books read -the mending finally finished, my cd's all listened to, daily wanderings through our local opshops (yep, I'm a 2nd hand addict) and many other things - BUT and it's big! I never get time:) There always seems to be something happening or some chore or tother in the way. 

I spend way too much time on SOCIAL MEDIA but love the people I"ve met there. Dang to the Professor who once said that no real friendships could be made online - I now have a lady I proudly call my sister (not really related) and also the most wonderful (pretend) brother any girl could hope to have (poking tongue out now at Professor). There's our dear friend in WestAus, who both my daughter and myself adore (who flew all the way to the East Coast to share dd's 21st, our wonderful Canadian gals, Dear Joe, Liz, Cookie, Jenna and tonight I have Confirmed one long term and a newish great friend who support both myself and our common goal of a FreeTibet. There are many MANY other special people who now have become part of my life (daily) and I treasure their online company, comments and support.  I worry if I don't see them posting for awhile:( I know I will treasure these friendships for many years to come! 

Without my social media I would have no idea what was happening around the world and I know it in a zillionth of a second. Puts a whole new meaning to Breaking News. I have shared loves found and lost, lives lost and found, jobs lost and found! Family dramas, life adventures and even real time war and protest updates. I would not be without Social Media nor the wonderful people that have come into my life and become family!

Luv to those wonderful peeps xxoo