Thursday, 9 January 2014


During last year I had my heart twisted like a rope, shattered in my chest, totally broken by a Step parent.  

My father and I were really into researching our Family history and he'd shared quite a lot with me through-out our years together but sadly he died leaving all the paperwork for our family in his small office at his home.

I have quite a lot of paperwork here but lack for some that he had filed away, things that life became too busy for us both to keep up the swapping of info: Wills, certificates of Death, Marriage and Birth, and the many other types of certificates that validate and prove family relationships and history.  

I asked for a copy of my Dad's will ( I am after all his first born child - his daughter) and well, did that cause a STORM through the "family" and apparently caused a fragile member to be upset ( bearing in mind here that this is my Dad also that we lost). 

 I kept insisting I wasn't a threat to them, I wasn't after anything at all - just the copy BUT I was told that Dad indeed had wills and probate docs for the "...." Branch of the family but they DIDN'T concern me! This was the heartbreaker as indeed I AM the "..." Family - I descend from them and theirs.  This same phone call I was told that some things Dad had there were "...." Family - not like the Japanese (oh sure) things I'd given him :( Excuse me luvee, I was born a "..." And will die A "..."

Needless to say that I am now trying to pick up many pieces of a broken heart that not too many people understand the'why and how' of. - I fear unless one has been here in my situation perhaps no-one would understand how much this has caused me grief and I know I really shouldn't let it get to me but just every now or then, it hits me how cruel this person was in quite a few of my life stages and never more so than trying to deny me something that is my birthright, my family right, my heritage and I'm now talking about how callously she dismissed my being a part of the "..." Family!

Vent done ~ thankyou for your shoulders!

Ps a good example of a couple of previous;
Myself staying with them in Sydney as a teen and bumping into my cousins boyfriend at Strathfield Station, knowing if we stayed there and caught up they'd be worried so We went home only to have her pretty much abuse him and insist he leave! Very embarrassing.

Her asking me how many affairs my mother had whilst with Dad - sheesh, I was only 5 when they split up and I didn't exactly have privvy to their lives - all I remember is him being 'rough' and then him driving away from the farm in his car with my Dog! I didn't get to see a great deal of him for many years after we arrived in Coffs!  
I know they became very close just before Mum's heart was broken by news of a baby:(
Guessing she hasn't tried to find my half sister in Brisbane :)
I would and could go on but tis nearly morning and I'm going on too much!

Ciou for now